Footplate Fixes

And how the effect of those fixes feels like an analogy for the impact of systemic marginalisations

Hullo my lovely readers

A content note for discussion of medical treatments and interventions for Cerebral Palsy, (vague) mention of pressure sores, as well as (equally vague) references to trauma, to systemic marginalisations and also to fascism. But they really are vague, as much for me as a writer as for you as readers, because (as I may have hinted in last week’s letter) I’m finding a lot of what’s happening in the world extremely triggering.

In fact, I almost didn’t manage to write and schedule any letter this week – in part because doing so involves internet communication, which is often incredibly tricky for me, for reasons I’m not yet ready to write about. Especially on the internet.

But something much needed and very positive happened, and the fact that it’s finally fully resolved (as well as the relief both I and my body are experiencing as a result) has got me thinking about how it’s a microcosmic example of the macrocosmic things happening in the wider world.

As you can probably tell from the title, it’s to do with the footplates of my wheelchair.

Some of you may remember my left one snapping off unexpectedly at Pride in July.

You may also remember that I was then incredibly grateful for my mother’s ingenious interim intervention, which helped me cope until we could go to the wheelchair clinic.

What I didn’t add then was that, although I got a new footplate, it didn’t have all the support I needed. Well, I’m pleased to share that, this week, a whole new set with the right support was finally fitted. And it’s wonderful. (Now, for absolute clarity before I go on, the reason for the delay wasn’t solely due to the systems. It was also because of my pressure sore requiring me to lie down, and the fact that I had to travel to two conferences. And even the NHS system aspects were exacerbated by it being the school holidays.)

When I say it’s wonderful, what I mean is my foot is now in its proper position and therefore a) not needing constant monitoring and movement to prevent yet more pressure issues in another sensitive area, and b) better supporting my general posture and alignment, even of the other leg.

Now it’s fixed it’s made me realise not only just how much additional strain my body’s been taking in that time, but also how (because the original break happened in early July) I haven’t actually had a fully supportive chair since I had Botox. And not in the wider sense, which I’ve written about previously, of the Botox giving me the opportunity to venture towards a new seating system by making me unstable enough that I need something different. In the case of my footplate issues, the Botox has made it possible to cope with their ongoing impact.

And I’m grateful. Of course I am. Especially to the Botox.

But I’m also registering how draining it’s been, and I’m wondering how much of the past two months would have happened differently – most notably my pressure sore and other skin integrity issues – if my footplate hadn’t broken.

Similar to my thoughts on representation being sparked by the bigger changes I need to my chair, that’s got me pondering the potential connection to structures that perpetuate systemic marginalisations, and the ways they impact us.

The often small and insidious yet significant and cumulative ways they make us weary enough that we then wonder whether there’s anything wrong at all or if we’re imagining it.

And that seems apt for more overt aspects of current politics too.

Particularly in public contexts.

But also, to end on a positive note (which I think we all need right now), the ways in which we are sustained by the comfort and community and collective support that comes when the difficulties and the draining effects are acknowledged and honoured and even, sometimes, alleviated.

As the below image of my new footplates attests.

[Image description: A close-up photograph of Jessi’s legs and feet (in blue cotton trousers and blue denim and synthetic fleece Converse shoes) resting comfortable on the footplates of their powered wheelchair. / End image description]

Thank you so much for reading, take care of yourselves and one another, and love and solidarity until next time,

Jx

PS This is scheduled for Friday because who knows what this weekend will bring…!